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I was chatting with a friend yesterday who was at the end of her rope.   She said she felt like she was clinging to her last shred of sanity.  We have all been there at one point or another.    As she was sharing her feelings of exasperation it dawned on me that men never seem to feel like they are going “crazy” when they are overwhelmed?  They innately realize what they need is a break, not a break down.

“Over the years, I have often called my dear sister, my lifeline, when I felt like I was crossing the line between sane and crazy—when I thought my own nervous breakdown was imminent.  Every time I reached out to her, she reminds me—over and over again—that I can check into a five-star hotel, order room service, and get a massage every day for a week for a helluva lot less money than what it costs to check into a sanitarium. She should know! She is still trying to pay off her medical bills from her a stay in the psych ward and she says she would have been better off at a resort. She jokes that all she got was bad hospital food, scratchy sheets and poor counseling.

So whenever I am so stressed out I feel like I am teetering on the edge of sanity, I call my lifeline—she reminds me there is a reason so many women feel like they are about to have a nervous breakdown: they need a break. And she gives me permission to take one.”

stress free bar

That was an excerpt from my new book, Oh Thank Goodness, It’s Not Just Me. Available  www.Simple

Women, you are not alone!  We share so many of the same feelings and experiences.

A trip to the stress-free beach beats a trip in a straight jacket any day!

Lisa Hammond
The Barefoot CEO ®

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The topic of sex came up with a group of friends discussing what was too racy or offensive to put in a gift book.   The conversation made me once again grateful that the religion of my youth didn’t “take” and I was not only able to avoid a temple recommend but keep my libido!

It seems many, many women are struggling with the messages of their chaste upbringing and the desire to now have fulfilling sex lives with their husbands.

I had a friend who went to Catholic school and the nuns made sure that impure thoughts were beaten out of them – sometimes metaphorically, sometimes literally … with a ruler.

When another friend finally met the man of her dreams and got married, years of chastity training left lasting impressions. She adores her husband, but still finds it difficult to really enjoy sex.  Her inhibitions make her anxious and nervous. What is natural to him seems distasteful to her.  It’s not easy to transform from being the “good girl’” to the passionate woman.

How on earth are women who are taught to treat their bodies as temples supposed to transform into sex vixens overnight once they cross the threshold of holy matrimony?

“Sex is dirty – save it for someone you love.” That pretty much sums up the mixed messages many girls receive. Talk about confusing!  What can Mother’s who are raising daughters now do to make sure they enjoy sex later?

According to Dr. Laura Berman, the talk shouldn’t only be about being moral and STD prevention and pregnancy. It’s also about empowerment—and Dr. Berman says the conversation needs to include pleasure. “You don’t want her to have sex right now. … But you eventually want her to have a fulfilling, happy, loving, intimate sex life,” she says. “When the time comes, she’s that much more likely to make those healthy decisions since she feels good about who she is as a sexual person and not just give away that gift to anybody—the first time or any time.”


As for adults, perhaps its time to leave the mixed messages behind and follow the sentiment of Mae West who famously said, “When I’m good I’m very, very good but when I’m bad I’m better.”

Lisa Hammond
The Barefoot CEO ®

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I am working on my next book and I want YOU to be in it!

Calling all women

So many of us are running on empty and are in desperate need of a refill.

Some of us have learned how to refuel, but most of us are still in the process of figuring that out.

How did we end up engrained with the message we had to put everyone else first?  Have you paid a price for burning the candle at both ends?  Share with me how you lost your way, the consequences of spreading yourself too thin, and how you found your way back.

I would love to hear your story!

Email me via the contact page on my blog or at

Lisa Hammond
The Barefoot CEO ®

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